Dealing with AIDS

应对艾滋病

    Dealing with AIDS strengthens the bond of friendship, encourages emotional and mature growth. Before the sixteenth of October 1995, I was the most carefree person in the world. I had no worries and was just living life up. I never thought that anything could happen to me or my friends. We were invincible. That is, until the word AIDS came into my life.

应对艾滋能增强朋友间的友谊，促进情感和成熟的增长。在1995年10月16号以前，我是世界上最无忧无虑的人。我没有忧愁，只是平平静静地生活着。我从未想过，会有什么事发生在我或是我的朋友身上。我们是战无不胜的。直到艾滋病走进我的生活。

     For 10 years David and I were the best of friends. Then we got to high school and things started to change. We were in different classes, so we didn't hang out as much. It bothered me but I thought that we were both just growing up, and there were more friends where he came from. Then I began to notice that he wasn't in school a lot, and was sick more than usual. So I called him and he hung up on me. I didn't know what to do, so once again I blew it off. Then one day I saw David in the mall and I confronted him as to why we were not friends anymore. He pulled me aside and broke down in tears and said that he was dying. I didn't believe him. Sure, I had heard about AIDS, but that it was a homosexual disease and it didn't affect young people, so I said that it was a sick joke and left.

我和戴维德已经是十年的好朋友了。后来，我们上了高中，我们的生活就起了变化。我们在不同的班级，所以我们一起闲逛的时间不多。那曾经让我很困扰，但我当时想，这都只是因为我们都长大了，而且他会有更多的朋友。后来我开始注意到，他经常不在学校，即使见到了他，他也是一幅病态，和往常不一样。于是，我给他打电话，他却不接我电话。我不知道该怎么办，所以，再一次地，我又没管这事了。突然，有一天，我在购物商场看见了他，我当面问他，为什么我们不再是朋友了。他把我拉到一边，崩溃地流着泪，告诉我说，他快要死了。我不相信他。我之前听过艾滋病，但那是同性恋之间易得的病，是不会感染到年轻人的。所以，我说，这只是一个使人恶心的玩笑，然后就离开了。

    When I got home things started to make sense. I ran to my room and cried. David was only 17; he couldn't die. Then I felt so bad that we had grown so far apart. I called David, asking him to come over so we could talk. When he came over I saw a seriousness in him that I had never seen before. He looked so old, too old for his age. I asked how it happened. David had had unprotected sex once and now had to pay with his life. I was so angry. I have never felt so powerless in my whole life. When things had gone wrong before this, I could always rely on my parents to make things better. There was nothing that they could do this time. I had to handle it all on my own.

回家的时候，我开始慢慢明白这一切了。我跑进房间，大哭起来。戴维德只有17岁；他不能死。之后我觉得特别难过，因为我跟戴维德已经疏远这么久了。我打电话给戴维德，要他过来，我想跟他好好谈谈。当他过来的时候，我在他脸上看到了从未看见过的严肃的表情。他看起来是那么的苍老，对他这个年纪来说，太老了。我问他这一切是怎么发生的。戴维德说他没有一次保护措施，现在要付出一生的代价。我很生气。我从未如此觉得无助过。在没有遇到这件事以前，出什么事我都是依靠父母。但这次，他们也帮不了忙了。我得自己独自处理这件事。

     David and I became very close again, and it seemed that I was the only one there for him. David made the decision to tell people about his disease. There was no use in hiding it; sooner or later people would find out. People looked at him as if he had a plague, and our friends from school wanted nothing to do with him. Soon after that they wanted nothing to do with me. All of a sudden I felt that I had the disease. I didn't know what to do. My whole life was changing so fast that I couldn't keep up. Once again I was growing up and realized that our friendship meant everything to me. Also, I couldn't turn my back on him when he needed me the most. So I stuck it out and lost most of my friends. The ones that still talked with me didn't come too close in fear that they would catch the disease. The thing was, I didn't even have AIDS, so why did my friends treat me like this? I was being treated this way because teenagers are not used to dealing with situations like this, and don't know how to react. So how could I blame them since I would have done the same thing?

戴维德和我又亲密起来了，看起来我是他唯一的朋友。戴维德决定告诉所有人他的病情。隐瞒也没用，因为人们迟早会发现。人们看他的眼神，就像他得了瘟疫一样，学校里的朋友们也远离他。不久，他们也远离我了。突然，我就觉得自己也得了艾滋病一样。我不知道怎么办。我的整个的生活都改变得太快，我有点反应不过来。但次，这也再次使我成长起来，也明白友谊对我来说，就是一切。当然，我不能在他最需要我的时候，对他不理不睬。因为我坚持和他做朋友，失去了其它的朋友。那些还跟我交谈的朋友也不离我太近，怕染上艾滋病。而事实是，我甚至都没有得艾滋，但为什么我的朋友们要这样对我？他们这样对待我，是因为青少年们还不习惯于应对这样的情形，不知道要怎么应对。换了我，我也会这样做，因此，我又怎么能责备他们呢？

     As time went on, David became very ill. There was nothing that I could do but watch him die. David found out that he had full blown AIDS. This to me meant death was sure to come and all too quickly. I wasn't ready to let him die, not yet anyway. There was so many things that I wanted to do and say, but couldn't find the words. I went to doctor after doctor with him, and saw him go through so much. Everyone said that I must keep a positive attitude for his sake, because attitude means everything. So, in times of stress I was the one that had to keep things together. I pushed all my emotions aside and was strong for him.

随着时间的推移，戴维德变得越来越病重了。我除了看着他走向死亡，别无它法。戴维德也明白他全身已经感染了艾滋病毒。这也等于告诉我，戴维德是一定会死的，但这一切都来得太快。对于他的死亡，从方方面面，我还没有做好准备。我还有很多想做的，想说的事，但我不知道如何开口。我陪他看了一个又一个的医生，看着他忍受了很多很多。每个人都说，为了他，我要保持一个积极的态度，因为态度决定一切。因此，遇到压力的时候，我总是那个力揽一切的人。我收起所有的情绪，为他而表现得坚强勇敢。

     My mom had had a trip planned for the whole family for some time now, and still wanted to go. She thought that the trip would do me good; she said that I was not the one that was dying. I couldn't believe that she said that to me, but to make her happy I went. We were gone for about 2 weeks, and when I came back the first thing I did was go to see David. That was when I saw AIDS for the first time. I didn't even recognize him. David had lost weight, had purple lesions all over his body, and was very pale. He couldn't even get up when he saw me. He was bedridden. I still had to be the strong one and keep everything in. I had brought him stuff from the ocean, his favorite place. We talked about my trip and anything else we could think of. Then he fell asleep because he could no longer stay awake for long periods of time.

我妈妈之前就计划晚些全家去旅行，现在也仍然想去。她觉得旅行对我会有帮助；她说，要死的那个人毕竟不是我。我简直不敢相信，我妈妈说了那样的话，但为了让她高兴，我还是去了。我们去旅行了将近两个星期，我一回到家，做的第一件事，就是跑去看戴维德。那是我第一次见识艾滋病是什么样的。我甚至都认不出来他。戴维德瘦了很多，全身都是紫色的斑块，脸色苍白无力。他看到我的时候，甚至都不能从床上起来。他已经卧床不起了。我依然要装作坚强，努力控制着自己。我从海边－他最喜欢的地方，给他带了点东西。我们聊着我的旅行，还有我们能想到别的事。后来，他就睡着了，因为他现在不能长时间保持清醒状态。

     On the second of May 1996, David was put in the hospital. This gave him the feeling that there was no more hope left, and that he was going to die. I still had to maintain my positive outlook for him. He needed that in me. One day he looked at me and said, "Faye, I am dying; let's accept that and deal with it. I know what I did was wrong and now I have to deal with it. All I want you to do is to remember me, enjoy life and be careful." For the first time in front of him, I cried. I knew that it wouldn't be long before he was gone forever. He shouldn't have to deal with this at such a young age. Towards the end of May he became so sick that the hospital staff had a bubble around him, so he wouldn't catch our bad germs. I hated to see him like that, and every day it became worse. I had come to realize that any day now he would die. At night I would wonder if he would make it through. School was over now, so I spent every hour I could in the hospital. He was everything to me. I felt bad for the time that we had lost and how I wasn't even going to fight for our friendship.

在1996年5月的第二个星期，戴维德被送进了医院。这使他感觉到，他没有希望了，他就要死了。但我仍然要为他保持乐观的态度。他需要我的这种态度。一天，他看着我说，费依，我要死了，让我们接受这个事实，面对它吧。我知道，我做的事是错的，现在，我必须要面对。我要你做的，就是记住我，享受生活，自己保重。我在他面前，第一次哭了。我知道，他不久之后，就要永远的离我而去了。在他这样的年纪，他本不该面对这些的。到五月末的时候，他病得越来越重了，医务人员在他身上装了圆形罩，所以，他感染不到我们身上的坏细菌。我不喜欢看到这样的他，但他的情况一天比一天更糟。我明白，他不知道哪天就会死去。晚上的时候，我总在想他今晚是否能熬得过去。学校放假了，我一有空，我都呆在医院。他是我的一切。我为我们错过的在一起的时光而难过，我甚至都没有为自己的友谊而战过。

The fifth of June, 1996 marked the end of my best friend David's life. He went peacefully. That was a comfort all in its own. In a way I was glad that it was over, for he was no longer in pain. All the emotions that I had held in came rushing out as I realized that I would never see David again. His mother said that I had kept him alive and that she was grateful that I was her son's last friend. It hasn't been a year yet, but I have done so much since then that I am no longer that carefree teenager. I now educate people about AIDS, which to me is keeping David's memory alive. Even though David is gone, he is still with me and always will be in mind and spirit.

1996年6月5号，这一天，标志着我朋友戴维德生命的终结。他走得很平和。他自身并不痛苦。从某种程度上说，我很开心，这一切终于结束了，因为，他不再痛苦了。当我意识到我再也见不到戴维德时，我所有曾经努力控制的情感都迸发了出来。他的妈妈说，是我让戴维德活着的，她很感激，我能做她儿子最后的朋友。还不到一年，我就做了很多事，因为从那以后，我就不再是那个无忧无虑的少年了。现在我教人们认识艾滋，这对我来说，只是让我能继续怀念戴维德。虽然戴维德去世了，但他还和我一起，他一直都在我的心里，在我的灵魂里。